Collecting the Pieces
by Nanashi
Summary: Relena and Heero are married for almost three years, when she comes home to find him cheating on her. Now, she has to try to rebuild her life, and gets help from an unexpected source. 3+R **Completed!!!**
1. Chapter One

Relena **Author's Note**: This just came from the top of my head. I was feeling sorry for Relena, since she's the biggest bash-victim in Gundam Wing fanfiction. I just want to show that she isn't really just a suit, but has emotions just as much as any of the other characters do... ok, they don't actually exist, but you get my point. Anyway, I personally don't really think she's that bad - it's just her English dub-voice which bugs me. Oh, and by the way? Can someone help me find a good title? I couldn't find one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! And please review, I want to know what you all think! 

**Warnings**: Some mentioned yaoi. Angst, OOCness. 

**Disclaimers**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
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**No Title Yet** - Chapter One 

The day Heero asked to marry me, was the happiest day of my life, next to the actual wedding. It had been the perfect romance - the knight in shining armour (in this case, a Gundam), and a long lost princess. All our friends from the wars came, as well as some new ones. One very big, white ceremony with flowers, birds and cakes. Simply beautiful - simply perfect. Like in a fairy tale, we were destined to live happily ever after. 

But unfortunately, happy ever afters don't last forever. 

We had been married for almost three years when, suddenly, my entire life became a joke. I had plummeted down from the top of a mountain, into a little black hole just for me. 

It was an Autumn Thursday evening. Buckets of rain whipped against the windows, and the sky was covered by a gloomy sheet of clouds and thunder. Soft rustles of wind howled somewhere in the house, but despite all of this bad weather, I had had a good day. My meeting with the colonist delegates had went well, and strengthened our relations. I wanted to celebrate, and so I had come home early to surprise Heero. 

The moment I entered the house, I could feel something amiss. Call it intuition, call it whatever you want, I just knew. I dropped my small purse by the door, and was about to hang up my drenched raincoat, when at the end of the corridor, I could hear moans and cries emanating from our shared bedroom. They were almost inaudible above the thundering skies, but definitely there. 

"Heero?" I cried out, but my voice was too quiet against the crashes of lightening to be heard. A sudden thought struck me - what if he was hurt? Or worse, what if he was... I quickly pushed all those thoughts away from my mind, too afraid to even think about them, and hurried towards the source of the cries. They became louder as I approached them, and amongst them somewhere, I was sure I could hear someone say Heero's name... 

Standing in front of the door, not really sure if I wanted to know what was behind it, I froze. Who was in there with Heero? What was going on? It was sounding like... but he wouldn't do that to me, would he? He wouldn't... 

Determination set itself in my mind, as I slowly put my hand on the door handle, and pushed it down. Pushing the door open, I gasped in horror, as my fears were confirmed. In front of me, in Heero and my bed, lay Heero naked under our sheets with... with Duo? 

"Relena?" They both breathed, quickly getting off each other. I just stared at them for what seemed an eternity, mouth wide open. Finally, my senses returned to me, and I was able to speak. 

"Hee... Heero?" I whispered. No reaction. "Duo? Please... please tell me this is a joke..." 

"Would you believe me if I did?" Heero replied. My body started trembling with fires of rage and betrayal. How did this happen? What did I do wrong? 

Hot liquid ran down my quivering cheeks, not knowing what to do or say. How could he be so cold to me, when he had always seemed so warm when we were alone... How could he do this to me? 

I slowly backed away, slowly closing the door. I only watched, as Heero called out my name, while scrambling up from the bed and rapping a sheet around his body. But before he could reach the door, I had closed it. Quickly, I turned and ran. Ran away from the scene I had just witnessed, the betrayal... Heero... Behind me, I heard Heero coming out and racing after me. 

_Please, let me be... just let me be..._

He caught me, and turned me around into his arms. I didn't even struggle as he embraced me - I was too emotionally weak to do anything. I dug my face into his chest, and cried. Rivers of tears spilled from my eyes, as if a dam had been broken, and all my emotions escaped out into the open. Rocking me in his arms, Heero tried to calm me down. For a small moment, I had forgotten why I was so upset. But then, the memory hit me again, and I pushed away from my husband. I glared at him for all I was worth, then at Duo, who had come up behind us. 

"Wha..." I started shakily, swallowed painfully, then tried again. "What..." I couldn't force myself to talk to him right now, not with Duo here. I just shook my head in defeat, and turned towards the door again. 

"Relena, wait! I... I can explain everything--" Heero cried out. 

I stopped in my tracks, but didn't turn around. "Please, Heero... I can't bare this... please... just let me be..." 

"But--" 

"Please," I begged. I heard him sigh softly behind me, accepting defeat for now. 

Walking on, I felt as if I could collapse any moment. I could feel both Heero and Duo's gazes burn into me, as I quickly stepped out the door and closed it behind me. The rain was still pouring with no end in sight, but I welcomed it. At least the skies were crying with me. 

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	2. Chapter Two

Relena2 **Author's Note**: Right, second chapter. This is completely unrealistic, but hey! It fits into the plot, and what the author says, goes. Hehe. ^_~ Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and as always, please review! 

**Warnings**: A little swearing? Uh, I think that this is a very mild fic... 

**Disclaimers**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
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**No Title Yet **- Chapter Two 

I had a lot to think about that evening. My life, my marriage, Heero... What was I to do, now? I had never felt so alone, never this clueless. My life had always been a straight line - no crossings, just one single path I could take. But all of a sudden, the road stopped, leaving me stranded and lost. I couldn't turn back, and couldn't go forward. 

Wandering the lone streets, I started to take in my surroundings. The dim street lamps were my only comfort and warmth out here, their soft light shimmering in the fallen water. The entire street seemed to glow within this golden light, and the refreshing scent of fallen rain helped calm my mind a bit. The moon overhead was blocked out by the rain clouds, but at least the rain seemed to grow tired, and slowly die down. A soft breeze rustled the red Autumn leaves of nearby trees, and ruffled my long, wet hair in wild directions. My suit was also drenched by now, but I didn't really care. All I cared about was a place for me to stay the night. I couldn't go back to our house, and my brother was out of town for the weekend. I had no real close friends nearby where I could stay the night, and no money to take me anywhere. 

'Damn,' I thought. 'Shouldn't have left my purse at home.' 

As I continued my little journey, I started to get into the busier part of town. Bright lights illuminated the dark night, and made it almost seem like it were day. Shops, bars, restaurants and other uninteresting stores covered each side of the road, and once again, everything was busy and alive. After all, it was only about eight in the evening. 

Between a largely visited restaurant and an already closed flower shop, stood a bar. It was the brightest one of all, from which one could hear loud cheers and laughs. A busy little place; I guess that was why I decided to stay there for a while - to get my mind off of things. Unfortunately, I had no money, so my plan on passing out drunk had to be set aside for later, but at least this place would give me warmth. 

I quickly entered the bar, where I was immediately met with bright lights and loud, tipsy people, not to mention the smell. In one little corner stood a pool table which was momentarily occupied, and in another, a huge table for the guests of honour, filled with loosely dressed men and woman, all laughing out loud almost in a rhythm. In the middle was the main bar, with a bar tender serving drinks and talking to some of the customers. Scattered all over the room were some more smaller, round tables, most of them already taken. And to top it all off, in two opposite corners were little TV sets screwed into the ceiling. 

Warily, I stepped further in, letting the door behind me shut. I hadn't really been in a bar since the war - my duties hadn't allowed it. And after the Marimeia incident, I hadn't really found the time. Of course, there was also the problem of the Media. Some people did not really appreciate their politicians going out and getting drunk in their free time. Luckily enough, I think, I had forgotten my purse. _Damn_. 

Slowly looking around the room, I found a lonely little table at the side. Perfect. I made my way up to it, and sat down. I just hoped the bar tender wouldn't notice me buying nothing, otherwise he'd probably throw me out. Yeah, that would be a great way to top off the day... Can you smell the sarcasm just reeking off that? Sorry, but evidently I wasn't really having a good day. Actually, I was, until I came home. 

"Hey, pretty lady. Seat taken?" 

My head snapped up as I was jogged out of my mind wanderings, "Say what?" 

Above me stood a big, somewhat muscly man with a small moustache that graced his face. His other facial features were bold, his eyes a warm brown. He had a flop of hair on top of his head, which looked suspiciously like a comb-over. Smiling at me, he repeated, "May I sit here?" 

I blinked, and looked around the room, then back at the man, "Aren't there any other spaces left?" 

"Yeah, but you look kinda lonely," his voice was genuine, mixed in with a Scotish-like accent. 'He seems nice,' I thought to myself, although I knew he could be some weird psycho-killer looking for his next victim. But, to say the least, I couldn't care less. 

I nodded and offered him the chair next to me. 

After plumping his large frame on the chair, he grinned at me, "So, what does a girl like you do in a place like this?" 

"How would you know what kind of girl I am?" I replied bored. 

"Well, I might not look it, but I _do_ watch the news. You're that Vice Foreign Minister... what was it again? ...Oh, yeah. Relena Dorlian-Yuy." 

I sighed softly, "Please don't call me that." 

"What?" 

"Just Relena. Today, I'm like any other 23 year old girl - or rather, woman. So, please. Just Relena," I smiled weakly. 

"Relena it is," he grinned. "So, Relena. Do 23 year old Vice Foreign Ministers have a drink or two? Well, what would you like?" 

Normally, I wouldn't have taken this kind of charity, but tonight wasn't really a normal night, all things considered. He ordered two pints of beer, which were served quite quickly, and drunk empty just as fast - as least mine was. 

My companion watched me wide-eyed as I finished my drink, and quirked an eyebrow at me once I set my glass down, "I was thirsty." 

"So, anyway, what's your name?" I asked curiously. 

"Bruno." 

Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrow at him, "Bruno?" 

He grinned sheepishly. "It ain't my real name - but it's what everyone calls me, anyway," he replied. "So, what's your story? What's got you so down in the dumps that you walk through the rain without a coat or an umbrella to end up here?" 

"I'll tell ya for another drink," I offered. He agreed and ordered me a second pint, as I started telling him about how I found Heero in bed with - I still couldn't believe it - Duo, and how I ended up in this bar. I don't really know why I told this complete stranger, but I needed to get this out, before I burst. I had to stop myself from starting to cry again while I told Bruno, but when I was done, I felt better. 

Bruno was great. He listened as if he actually cared, although I wouldn't be surprised if he was bored on his mind. He didn't interrupt, and only spoke once I had finally finished. 

"I... " This large man seemed to be at loss of words, which surprised me. He seemed to think about what to say, then finally spoke, "That's a bugger. You seem like a great gal. Aren't you sure Heero isn't just gay?" 

It had crossed my mind, but it was too impossible. 

"If he were gay, then he would have lied to me all along... and... I don't want to think about that," I sighed. "Maybe... maybe it was me. You know, not good enough to fulfil his... err... _needs_. I was just so busy lately. Or maybe Duo, the bastard, seduced Heero 'cause he couldn't find anyone else or... something..." I knew Duo wouldn't do that, at least on purpose anyway. I was just so mad at him at the moment, that I would have loved to attack him with a chain sword and chopped off his annoying little braid and then his even more annoying head. Ok, ok. I was overreacting. I actually like his braid and head, and had often protected them both by a raging WuFei. Those two always fought - it was kinda like a love-hate relationship, but I knew that deep down, they respected each other. 

I'm rambling again, aren't I? 

Anyway, Bruno and I talked on into the night, about simply nothing. He told me that he works in a travelling circus, which has just come into town. Most of the people of the table of guests of honour were from that same circus. He was the guy who lifted all those weights and stuff, but also one of the clowns. He told me all about the acts and how he always has to practise them every morning, and then again, after lunch. He lived in a trailer, which I couldn't really see, since he was such a big man. Anyway, Bruno was very open to me, and I appreciated it, although I was really wondering how many glasses of beer he had had before he had come over to me. He ordered another couple of pints for the both of us, and I started to feel a bit tipsy. 

When it finally passed eleven o'clock, he decided to leave, since he had to wake up early in the morning. 

"Well, it's been nice talking to you, Bruno," I smiled up at him, when he stood up. 

"Yeah, well. It was a pleasure." He was about to turn when, he asked, "Hey, since you don't really have anywhere to sleep, wanna stay at my place? It's not big or anything, but if I sleep on the floor, there'll be enough room for us both." 

"Well," I put a finger to my chin, as if in deep thought, "I was going to try and just pass out on a table and spend the night here, but... yeah, ok." I grinned. 

We left a tip for the bar tender, and exited the bar. Hit by a rush of cool air, I shivered slightly, and pulled my blazer close. The street had become quieter, but there were still al lot of people wandering the streets. All the shops had closed now, and the restaurants and bars alone took the spotlight. Bruno lead the way down this street, away from where I had come from. It only took about ten minutes, when we arrived at a nearby field, which was now covered by seemingly countless trailers and a huge tent. There were booths set up at the sides, as well as a few smaller tents for the animals and probably any other equipment that needed to be set up in the morning. We walked up to a series of trailers, most of them still lit up inside, and stopped in front of a darkly painted one. I couldn't identify the actual colour in the darkness, though. 

Bruno pulled out a key and opened the lock for us. Stepping inside, he put on the light, giving way to the space inside. It was quite a small trailer, with one bed at the side, a small kitchen, seating area and a door leading to the toilet, I presume. Everything was decorated in subtle colours, creating a calm effect. There was a lot of junk scattered on the table, bed and floor, though. Apologizing for the mess, my comrade gave me the bed and a very large shirt for a nighty. He himself decided to sleep on the floor, and pulled out a mattress from underneath the bed. We each got ourselves ready for bed, and within ten minutes, the lights were out. 

Lying on Bruno's bed, and staring at the blank ceiling above me, I spoke softly, "Thanks, Bruno. I never expected this from someone I hardly know. I owe you." 

"You're welcome, Relena. After all, you saved all our lives in the war - this was the least I can do." 

I smiled. It was the first time anyone had openly thanked me for what I did during the wars. The Gundams and their pilots had done a lot, of course, but I always seemed to be the one who 'asked' the Gundams to fight for her, and never do anything herself, except say a lot of speeches. To say the least, I appreciated it. And despite the events of that day, I had found a friend.   
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	3. Chapter Three

Relena3 **Author's Note**: Uh, I'm actually thinking about keeping the Title as "No Title Yet", since I haven't really thought of anything better yet - I'm not very creative, am I? -_- Oh, well... If anyone has any ideas, please, please, please, I beg you, e-mail me at [esther.bretschneider@gmx.net][1]. Thank you. 

**Warnings**: A bittle wittle angst. 

**Disclaimers**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
----- 

**No Title Yet** - Chapter Three 

Having almost forgotten about the events of the previous night, I awoke in Bruno's small trailer bed, my head thumping in pain. I groaned, and found my throat sore and dry. I coughed softly, and waited for my blurry vision to clear up. Soon enough, my eyes began to focus, as I suddenly realized that I wasn't at home in my comfy bed, and that Heero was nowhere in sight. My first thought was that I had been kidnapped, when slowly the memory of the night before crept back into mind. It was still so vivid - Heero... Duo... 

Staring at the muddy white ceiling above me, all I could see were the images of the one person I trusted most with one of my best friends... I could remember perfectly every bit of detail in that moment, haunting me, nagging in my mind... 

I shook my head in frustration, willing these thoughts away. I quickly sat up, and found that Bruno had already gone. I knew that he was probably practising, since today was their opening night. I sighed softly, and quickly changed from the T-shirt my new friend had lended me to my white, now wrinkled, suit. 

Standing in front of a small bathroom mirror, I brushed my long, messy hair, then tied it up with my usual bow. And, for a moment, I just stared at myself. 

'Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian-Yuy. That is who I am,' I thought, but somehow, that didn't really make feel better. I felt like I was about to throw up. I ran my hand through my fringe, not parting gazes with my own reflection. Somehow, it suddenly occurred to me how fast I had grown up. I had only been fifteen when I became the leader of a country, and then the Queen of the World. And only a year later, the Vice Foreign Minister. When had I become so... joyless? 

I sighed at my reflection, and looked away from it. I was too disgusted by myself and by what I had become. No wonder Heero didn't want me anymore. Who would? 

'Shut up and get over it,' I told myself. 'No use whining about it.' 

I straightened my posture, and made my way back out the trailer. I had to be strong. That's all I could be. After all, I hadn't come this far to be shattered by something so... so silly! 

With that in mind, I looked around the wide, green field. It was full of busy circus people, hurrying from one tent to another. No one even spared me a glance, but I didn't really expect anything. The main tent in front of me towered above me with its bright colours and happy music playing. I could already smell the delicious smell of breakfast and the usual carnival scent of cotton candy. Behind the row of trailers I could hear groups of people talking, probably having breakfast, and for a moment I thought to join them, until I realized that I wasn't really hungry. 

My headache still being a pain, I decided to take a walk, and look around the place a bit, see if I could find Bruno, and thank him for everything. I still wasn't really sure if I should go back and talk to Heero - maybe it had all been a misunderstanding... 

'Yeah, right,' I thought, and rolled my eyes unintentionally. 

I decided to take a look at the main tent, first, since it seemed to be the busiest part of the circus. Once inside, I found myself between two huge seating areas for the guests to watch this evening. Rows upon rows went round the tent, making it look almost like an arena. The lights and decorations had already been set up, gracing the sides with colourful eye candy. Pictures of strange sea maidens and brave lion tamers had been painted on the inside of the tent. Strong beams had been set up for the acrobats, as well as the net to go under it. 

At the moment, the magician practised his acts, while above him, the acrobats swung themselves from one beam to another. In one area of the arena, the clowns threw their pies, and in another the knife thrower carefully eyed her masked victim. I was guessing that Bruno was probably among the clowns at the moment, and so didn't want to disturb him in the middle of his act. I silently exited the main tent again, and looked around for anything else to investigate. 

There was a side entrance for the main tent on the other side, which was probably for the performers. I decided to wait there for Bruno, thank him for everything, and leave. As I entered, I was met with the annoyed growls of a female lion, her piercing eyes immediately directed at me. I guess I woke her up. I walked over to her cage, and smiled softly. She growled again, trying to get me to go away, but I gave her no response. I guess the lioness grew tired of me, and simply lay her head back down, although her eyes never left me. 

"Do you know what it feels like to be free?" I whispered to her. She just blinked at me, tired and bored. "'Cause I sure don't." I would have loved to touch her soft, furry coat, but I was too unsure of how tame circus lions were. 

"Don't worry, she won't bite," a voice beside me spoke. Startled, I suddenly realized that someone had come up next to me. I looked up at him, but his face was still masked - he been the target for that knife throwing act, I was sure of that. He was quite tall and softly toned, a long uni-bang shadowing most of his face. His head slightly turned towards me. 

"Sorry?" I asked. 

"Alanna here," he gestured towards the lioness, stuck his hand in the cage through the bars and massaged the lioness behind the ear. "She's completely harmless." 

"Oh," I said, not really knowing what else I _should_ say. I turned towards him, and asked, while he was here, "Do you know Bruno?" 

"Yes." 

"Well, could you please tell him that I thank him for his hospitality, but I have to go now, since I-I have... I have to go to work." He nodded. He too turned towards me, and smiled. Well, at least half of his lips did, since only now did I realize that his mask was chopped in half. 

"Wouldn't you want some breakfast before you leave?" His left eye glinted at me a deep emerald colour, and I was sure I had seen it before. 

"Sure," I murmured, somewhat awed. Luckily, I snapped out of it, as he took his hand back out of the cage. Without a word, he lead the way to a little seating area outside, situated right behind the trailers. There were already a couple of circus people seated, talking over their food, some even in their costumes. At the side stood a little booth, tended by a young girl, who smiled at us cheerily. 

"G'mornin', Trowie! Who've ya got there? Ya new girlfriend?" I blushed softly, but "Trowie's" expression didn't change. I guess this was normal. "Well, what will it be?" 

"Usual." 

"You got it!" she grinned and immediately handed us two plates of bacon, eggs and french toast, all of it practically swimming in fat. I eyed it warily, then the young girl, who still grinned at us. 

"Enjoy!" she winked. 

'Trowie' had already sat down at a table, and started to delicately eat his food. I quickly caught up, and sat down opposite him. Without looking up, he continued on systematically devouring his breakfast. Hesitating, I looked down onto my plate. _Ugh_. 

'Ok, you've gone through worse, Relena. You can get through this,' I thought to myself. I slowly started cutting at the bacon, but it was an impossible task, as it seemed to be made out of _rubber_. 

'Ok, calm... calm...' 

I tried again, this time applying more pressure onto it. Cut cut cut cut.... nothing. What was wrong with this food? Or was it the knife? 

Warily, I looked around to see everyone else happily eating their breakfast, no one seeming to meet any troubles at all. My gaze slowly wandered to my comrade in front of me, who was delightfully chewing on a piece of meat. I dropped both knife and fork, and pushed my plate away. 

"I'm not hungry anymore. I... really, _really_ need to go," I said, but he still didn't look up. Was he deaf or something? 

I sighed and shook my head in frustration. Taking my plate to the bin, I scraped all the food off it, and handed it back to the cheery lady, who was still grinning like a maniac. 

Deciding that I needed to get out of this place as soon as possible, I made my way out of the grounds. Warily looking back at the towering tent, I suddenly heard someone call my name. I stopped and, only a few metres away, I saw Heero get out of his car, and walk towards me. My jaw dropped slightly - how did he find me? Then I remembered - he's a Gundam pilot. What did I expect? In either case, he was here, and this time, I wasn't going to run.   
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   [1]: mailto:esther.bretschneider@gmx.net



	4. Chapter Four

Relena4 **Author's Note**: Ok, I realize the plot is coming along quite slowly, and that might be boring and bugging some of you people. After this chapter, I will try to move it along a bit, get past the healing, and onto the part where Relena-- actually, better not tell you, or it might spoil everything! ^-^ And as always, I beg you to review! 

**Warnings**: All right, OOCness, mostly on Heero's part. Also, this chapter's extremely dramatic! -.- Sorry, but I really couldn't help myself! 

**Disclaimers**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
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**No Title Yet** - Chapter Four 

"Relena," Heero sighed in relief, as he came up to me. He put his hands on my shoulders, and attempted to pull me into a warm embrace. I yearned to feel his warmth and love again, to kiss those soft lips, and touch that beautiful skin, but how could I? After what he had done? Determined to not get washed away by my emotions again, I quickly retreated from his embrace, and looked away. 

"Relena," Heero repeated, hurt evident in his voice. I couldn't help but look up again. Without realizing it, tears started to well in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. 

"What!" I said a little too harshly. My shaky voice betrayed my insecurities, as I silently cursed it. 

He let his arms drop by his side again, and looked at me with pleading eyes - eyes I had never seen before on Heero's expression, "Please, let us talk." I hesitated for a moment, then nodded reluctantly. 

He lead the way back to the circus, and past the main tent, where the uni-banged stranger stood and watched us. We carried on walking, though, not stopping at the smaller tents, by any of the booths or any of the groups of performers. We went on, straight towards the collection of trailers. We stopped in front of a small, greyish one, curtains all drawn close. Heero selected a key from his key chain, and opened the door. Where he got that key from, I didn't even want to know. One thing was for sure - it wasn't his. We walked into the trailer, door closing behind us, light quickly flipped on. Inside, it looked almost the same as Bruno's trailer, except that it had two beds instead if one, and that everything was neatly arranged on shelves and in cupboards. We sat down on a bed each, and looked at each other for a long, silent moment. 

I decided to break the tension a bit, and quietly asked, "How did you find me?" 

"I asked around, and a friend told me he saw you. I was getting worried when you didn't come home this morning..." 

"Oh." Neither knowing what to say, silence spread once more, the tension as thick as ice. 

After long, torturing minutes, Heero sighed, and opened his mouth to speak, his words hesitant and nervous, "Relena, I've been meaning to tell you something for quite some time, now..." _Oh God, here it comes... _"You-you... were the first girl at my age that I had met since my training, which was... since I was about eight or so.* I didn't really know... know about love or... or anything like that. I was interested in you - you were different than anyone I had ever met before..." He paused. "What I felt... what I felt was completely new to me, and I didn't know what it was. Somehow, I expected it to be love, you know? And so did everyone else." Another pause. Was he saying... was he saying that he never even... Could it be that I had been living a lie all this time? He continued. "After both wars, I got to know you better, and we became friends... and more. Finally, everyone told me to just 'go for it' and propose. I believed that I loved you, that... well, recently, Duo and I were spending more time together, and--" 

"Are you gay?" I blurted. 

He blinked at me, then at the floor, "Yes." I, too, suddenly found the carpet very interesting. Great, peachy. I was married to someone who never even loved me. What else is next? My grandparents, in reality, were huge chimpanzees or... Ok, I'm going overboard here. 

Silence followed once more. I kept thinking over the past few months, any signs or hints I should have seen... _anything_. I slowly lifted my head to gaze at his. He, too, waited for a reaction. I guess it was my turn. 

"Since when do you know?" I asked. 

"A few months. I didn't want to hurt your--" 

"Well, you did that, anyway," I cut in, before he could continue. He looked down again. I wasn't making it easier on him, I knew that, but at that moment in time, I couldn't care less. 

"So, what now?" he asked, after moments passed. 

I shrugged, trying to act all casual. There wasn't anything else I _could_ do. It wasn't really his fault that he was gay... I couldn't really condemn him for that. He couldn't help his feelings, and neither could I. We were both prisoners of our emotions. So, all that I coulddo was shrug it off, and move on... Be strong, be strong... 

"Divorce." I had said the word so easily, yet it set off another roll of emotions in me. The tears in my eyes started to build up again, and this time, they wouldn't blink away. Instead, they escaped and rolled down my cheeks, destroying my act. Looking up, Heero just watched as the tears flowed endlessly. I caught his gaze, and let myself dissolve into those prussian blue eyes. Trying to find something, _anything_ in those eyes that would tell me that none of this was true, none of this was real... but I found nothing. 

Not realizing what I was doing, I softly spoke, "I love you, Heero." My face scrunched up involuntarily, "I just love you... so much." 

"I know," he said softly. "I know." He stood up and came over to sit next to me. Putting an arm around my shoulders, he gently started rocking me. I accepted his comfort, as he let me cry into his shirt, and finally, drift into sleep. Blackness all enclosed around me, complete emptiness, I just fell...   
-----   
I awoke with the sun brightly shining in my eyes, and the scent of freshly cooked lunch wafting in my nostrils. 

"Good morning, Miss Relena," a voice beside me spoke. I turned my head to see Lucrezia Noin sit beside my bed, smiling down at me. She held a tray steady on her lap, as she gestured at it, saying, " I brought you breakfast." 

I slowly sat up, and looked around, "Where am I?" 

"You're at Zechs' and my apartment," she replied, and gave me the tray to put on my lap. I gratefully took it, stomach rumbling from lack of food. "Heero brought you in a few hours ago, and waited for us to come home from our trip... sweet guy..." she smiled at that. Her expression quickly changed, though, as she continued, "He told me... about everything... Are you ok?" Her gaze burned into me, demanding an answer. 

I smiled weakly, "I will be." 

Turning to my waiting food, I started working my way through it. Yes, I was going to be ok, even though I wasn't now. I had lived through two wars, and more. I knew I was barely hanging by a thread, but... I was going to survive.   
-----   
* - I'm not actually sure _when_ Heero started training as a Gundam pilot, I'm just making it up as I go. ^_^ 


	5. Chapter Five

**Author's Note**: I greatly apologize for the crapyness of the last chapter! Even _I_ thought it was bad. I might revise it at some later date, if I can ever be bothered, but for now, you have to put up with it, I guess. Also, on a side note, thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far! This is turning out to be my best story, judging from the number of reviews I received per chapter, although I personally found 'Christmas Music' better, but hey. I'm starting to ramble, aren't I? By the way, what would you all think about a 3+R pairing? I was thinking about it, but not sure if I should go through with it. Anyways, on with the show. 

**Warnings**: Errm, weirdness towards the end. OOCness. 

**Disclaimers**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
----- 

**No Title Yet** - Chapter Five 

That day, I stayed in my room, not really feeling like doing anything. It was a windy Friday afternoon, and although I was supposed to be at work, serving the general public, I called in sick. I didn't really care for world peace at that moment. I started doubting myself again, just as I have done many times before - if I wasn't just being naive, believing in total pacifism. 

Fortunately, before I could ponder more about any of this, my brother knocked on the door, and walked in. 

"How are you feeling, Relena?" he asked, as he sat down on my bed. 

Standing by the window, I carefully watched his reflection on the clear surface. There was concern in his eyes, and something else which I couldn't quite place. Recognizing his words as a question, I simply shrugged. 

"Do you want me to kill him for you? I'd gladly--" 

"Nah," I said, trying to sound casual. Milliardo and I haven't really ever been that close. I didn't want him to see my weak side... yet. 

Pause. 

"Ok," he sighed. "Noin says dinner's ready." And with that, he walked out the door again. Sometimes I wish we were closer. 

I had considered hiring someone to finish off Duo for me before, but that would be completely unrealistic and over the top. After all, he was a trained Gundam Pilot. Yet that offer was... tempting to say the least. 

---- 

A few weeks later, Heero and I signed the divorce papers. We split everything up fairly; I got the house, the furniture and the percentage of money that I have made during the year. Heero got the rest, of course, and moved in with Duo. Soon afterwards, I returned to work. That's all I did, nowadays. Work. There wasn't really any other reason for me to keep going. The feeling of being needed was... comforting, in a warped and twisted kind of way, but... it kept me alive. 

Days, weeks, even months slowly crept past. Milliardo and Noin announced their engagement at the beginning of November, as well as Quatre, who was going to marry some redhead from work. It send a twist of pain and jealousy into my heart, but I ignored it. They would all make their own mistakes. Yet I missed the fresh feeling of love, and the hope that it would never end, and never leave you. 

Funny, how much older I feel, when it is them who are beyond my own years. Maybe that was the problem - we were too young to see the inevitable. 

I tried to ignore everything, and I finally began to heal... unfortunately, it was a very slow process. I buried myself in my peace projects, and helped out with the preparations of the weddings. Noin and Milliardo's wedding was going to wait until next year, but Quatre's was scheduled for the 1st of January on his home colony. Great date he picked - I really have to say that. 

Quatre invited me, of course. I didn't really know if I should go, though. I mean... Heero and Duo were invited, of that I was sure. I didn't know if I was healed enough to face them without breaking into a fit of tears or rage. 

But sweet, angelic Quatre worked his magic on me, as usual. 

"Please, Miss Relena? It won't be the same without you," he begged, a sincere look in his aquamarine eyes. 

"You don't _need_ me to get wed, Quatre," I pointed out. "And besides, it'll mean more media than already expected. 

"Oh, don't worry about the media. The Maguanacs(1) have offered to keep them off the grounds." Seeing my determined look, he sighed and repeated, "Please?" His eyes shone with pure hope. He was always so open - it was something I admired about him. I didn't want to destroy his hope - I wasn't a murderer. Whoever his fiancée was, she was a lucky girl. He would never betray her. 

I sighed in defeat, "All right Quatre. I'll be there." I smiled. 

The hope was immediately replaced by gratitude and sincerity. Thanking me endlessly, the blond finally left me alone with my thoughts. 

Why did I always end up in these kind of situations? 

---- 

The weeks passed way too quickly for my taste. While I was helping prepare for Quatre's wedding, I somehow felt I was preparing for my own. The excitement had infected me, as well as all the other pilots. I got to see both Heero and Duo a couple of times, but we never spoke with words, only with silent gestures. I was too afraid, I guess. 

Quatre's fiancée, Ronya, and I got to know each other a bit. She is really nice, and a great match for the blond ex-pilot. I helped her pick out a beautiful dress (which, err... happened to look exactly like my one did...), and of course a wedding cake. Everything was going too fast, and I kept thinking back to when Heero and I got married. 

I remember it clearly. It was a spring morning of AC200. We decided to get married on Earth - in Japan, his home country. Everyone was there, except one of the ex-pilots who couldn't make it. Quatre and WuFei were ushers and Duo the best man. Dorothy was there, too, as a bride's maid, as well as a girl called Hilde. I never got to know her, but she was an acquaintance of the pilot's during the war. My brother and Noin, recently announced as a couple, had come too. Unfortunately, Heero didn't know of any family he might have had, and the only person he had known to ever be close to a father had died a long time ago. 

There was a lot about Heero I didn't know, and I still don't. Sometimes I wish he had been more open with me. 

The wedding had been perfect. Perfect weather, perfect ceremony, perfect reception... perfect everything. Even the honeymoon... Ooh, the honeymoon. Delicious. We _rented_ an island on Earth somewhere in the Indian Ocean(2), and lived in a small cottage for a week. It was beautiful - watching the sunset together every morning, and for once the media wasn't there to block the view - Heero had made sure of that. 

But all that was over, and now it was Quatre's turn to taste the sweet life.   
----- 

The 31st December. 

Quatre had invited all of us to a New Year's party; a pre-celebration of his wedding. Everyone came, of course. Who wouldn't? Quatre threw great parties. He had rented an entire restaurant, with a karoke bar and dance floor. 

Ooh, the karoke bar was a _bad_ idea. But I'll get to that later. 

First, we all sat down to dinner. I was sitting next to Dorothy who was enthusiastically chatting up WuFei, and ... you won't believe this - Circus guy! The one with the half mask! Just _without _the mask. 

I blinked at him, "You?" 

He turned his head my way a bit and blinked back, "Sorry?" 

"You're that guy from the circus!" I exclaimed. "So _you're _the one who sold me out to Heero." 

"Um, yeah... That's me." He replied while picking at the caviar surrounding a gloriously smelling Turkey. 

"I never caught your name. What was it?" I asked, curiosity perking up inside me. 

"Barton. Trowa Barton." 

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "You mean the guy who wanted to crash a colony on Earth?" 

"Errm, no. Not exactly," he looked a bit embarrassed. "I just stole his name." 

"Oh." Never expected that one. "Should I ask how?" 

"Please don't." 

I smiled at him. From behind his long, reddish brown hair, I saw his emerald eyes focus on me. For a moment, we just looked at each other in that way, neither one parting gaze. 

Suddenly, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment, as I realized what I was doing. Quickly looking away, I hauled mounts of food - I didn't even look what - onto my plate, and started eating. 

"You crazy onna!" WuFei suddenly screamed, and fell backwards on his chair. Dorothy beside me just giggled hysterically. She couldn't contain herself anymore, as she started laughing out loud, while WuFei yelled and ranted at her. I wasn't even going to ask...   
----- 

(1) I have no idea how to spell that.   
(2) I don't know any Geography, so if it is impossible to have an island in that region for whatever reasons at all, sorry. 


	6. Chapter Six

**Author's Note**: By the way, I would just like to make clear, even though I'm sort-of portraying Duo as a *ahem* bastard, I really do like him. Remember - I'm writing this from _Relena_'s POV, and she doesn't exactly like him, since... err.... he kinda... helped Heero cheat on her... But never mind. ^_^ 

**Warnings**: Sort-of drunk Relena. ^_^ Errm, I was in a really weird mood, when writing this, so it's... kinda silly, but it serves it's purpose. ^_^ 

**Disclaimers**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
----- 

**No Title Yet** - Chapter Six 

The karaoke bar. The pure evil and sinisterness of this ... this... _thing_ ... is indescribable. I still shudder at the mere thought. 

The evening went on, as time slowly crept past towards midnight. Milliardo and Noin went home early, for they had work the next day, but everyone else stayed to enjoy the party. During the entire meal, I couldn't help but shoot nervous glances at Duo and Heero every now and then... all right, every _two_ seconds. They were completely oblivious to everything around them, small touches here and there. Of course they were trying to be careful with their actions, so they wouldn't hurt my feelings. Like they haven't already done that. Laughing and smiling and giving each other that look full of love... it made me want to vomit. Instead, I decided for my trusty sidekick, alcohol. As I started downing glass after glass of wine, a small voice at the back of my mind reminded me that 'The Vice Foreign Minister should not drink alcohol'. And just to spite that damned voice, I drunk even more. 

As expected, I got completely drunk. 

"You know," I slurred, prodding WuFei's indignant face with my index finger, "I never really liked your face." 

"Crazy, drunk onna," Wu muttered, and moved away from me, quickly. In the background, Duo was singing some ancient 20th century love song called "My heart will go on" or some crap like that. I rolled my eyes, stood up and staggered towards the stage, where the braided baka was yelling his lungs out, eyes fixed on Heero. My ex-husband just smiled at his koi. 

Just as Duo was singing, "We'll stay forever this--" I ripped the microphone out of his hands, and kicked him off the stage. "Itaiii!" he yelled, while flying off. Looking around at my audience, I suddenly noticed that a lot of worried eyes were focused on me, the room completely silent except for Duo's ranting. 

"Ahem," I started. Taking a deep breath, I did the only thing I could think off, since I didn't know any songs - make one up. (^_^) "Pink little flowers go hush, hush hush (^_^), blue little trees go … bla bla bla… (1)" Slight embarrassment flushing onto Heero's cheeks, he quickly helped Duo up, and left the room with him. 

Suddenly, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around, and found Quatre nervously smiling at me, "Errm, the countdown's about to start." 

"Oh," I said. 

"Also, I don't think you should keep that," he gestured towards the microphone clutched in my hands. 

"Okay," I replied, and handed it to him. 

After watching me leave the stage and make my way back to my original seat, Quatre announced the countdown was about to start. 

"Ready?" he asked his audience, and turned his attention to a huge clock hanging above the stage. "Ten... Nine... Eight..." While everyone was counting, a sudden thought sprung to mind. Who was I supposed to kiss, this year? It was tradition, right? "Seven... Six..." Heero, Duo, Quatre - obviously not. WuFei - I glanced in his direction, and found a tipsy Dorothy clinging to his arm - no. "Five... Four... Three..." Oh, yeah. Circus guy! He was sitting right next to me, so that was convenient. "Two... One..." Grabbing the collar of his shirt, I pulled the surprised man towards me, and pressed my lips onto his.(2) "Happy New Year!" 

Cheers filled the room, as well as congratulations and the clinging of wine glasses, but all that was drowned out by the kiss. A strange and exciting feeling bubbled up in me, and I realized I was running out of air. 

Withdrawing from the very astonished and unsure Trowa, I grinned up at his visible eye. "Pay-back," I slurred, and before he was able to respond, I promptly passed out on his lap. 

-----   
  
(1) Really, really sorry!   
(2) Hands up who saw this coming a mile away? 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Author's Note**: As some of you have pointed out, Relena was supposed to already know Trowa before the whole fic, and saw him on her wedding... I must have forgotten that part... so, for the sake of the fic, just ignore that plothole, please. Thanks. I promise it won't happen again! Guess it just comes to show what a bad memory I've got... I'm getting old! (^_^) 

**Warnings**: Weird Relena. And Trowa, for that matter. And everybody else's weird, too! Including me! (Sorry, I'm hyper). 

**Disclaimer**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
---- 

**No Title Yet** - Chapter Seven 

I woke up the next morning (or _that_ morning, whichever way you want to look at it) at about 10:00 in the morning - and groaned. 10:00am was _way_ too early for me, considering the circumstances. I had a pounding headache and my throat screamed for something to drink. And, to top it all off, I had a wedding to attend this evening. Great. I take back what I said about Quatre choosing the 1st of January as his wedding date - it was a stupid idea. But there was no way of getting out of it now... 

I slowly sat up, squinting as the dim winter sun reached my eyes. Where was I, anyway? The last thing I remembered was... oops. I felt my cheeks flush with heat, as I remembered my embarrassing act up on the stage, and then that kiss... I climbed out of bed, and stood up shakily, looking about my surroundings. I found myself in a small hotel room, sparsely decorated with a single-sized bed, a night stand and a wardrobe. I had no idea who's this hotel room was, or if possibly Quatre had rented it for me to stay the night in. But, quite simply, I couldn't care less at that moment. I'd just find out later. 

I yawned and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I was still in my suit for the New Year's party, which now stank of alcohol and smoke. And my hair felt disgustingly oily the way it does when you wake up with a hangover. I needed a bath, bad. 

I slowly made my way out the room, and down to the lobby, where a single employee stood at the reception. 

"Checking out, miss?" he asked. 

"Um," I quickly searched my memory for the room number. "Who's room is number 415?" 

"Just a minute, miss," he replied, as he checked his files on the computer. After a few minutes, he replied, "Barton, Trowa." 

I raised an eyebrow, "Mm... ok, then. No. I'm not checking out. Thank you." 

I caught a cab back to my place, and took a _long_, relaxing bath. Oh, the bliss. As I lay there in the tub, floating in the warm, soapy water, I just lay back and closed my eyes. My worries and aches all seemed to dissolve into the steam that surrounded me, and I felt calmness flood my body. I sighed, contently, and my breathing slowly became a hypnotic rhythm, as my chest rose and fell in tact. 

And for some reason, my thoughts kept darting back to Trowa. He was a complete mystery to me... 

---- 

"Do you, Quatre Raberba Winner, take this woman as your wife, to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" 

"I do." 

Pause. 

"You may now kiss the bride," the priest announced, smiling. 

The newly weds looked at each other, and gracefully, passionately kissed each other. Sweet. 

I was sitting in the first row of the old church next to Dorothy and Ronya's sister, and silently watched the beautiful ceremony. Even though Quatre was muslim, they had decided that they would wed as the christian tradition demands, since they both knew that it didn't really matter _how _they got married, anyway - just that they _did_. So, they had decided on Ronya's faith. 

I sighed, feeling a sniffle coming on. Everyone around me had started cheering, and the loud organ at the end of the church started playing, the wedding march booming out of its pipes. Quatre and Ronya walked down the aisle together, followed by the guests. I, too, left my seat, so I could see them leave the church. 

"Heads up!" Ronya yelled, and threw her bouquet over her head. A bunch of squeamish women and girls tried to catch it, jumping up and down like there was no tomorrow. And guess who got it? You should have seen everyone's faces when it fell on WuFei's head. It was hysterical. He looked really miffed when we laughed. He gave it to Dorothy, though. I guess those two were getting to like each other. >_^ 

We all made our way to the reception at this enormous five star hotel. There was the usual formal stuff - thank yous, good luck speeches and so on. But, the best part had to have been the food. Oh, and of _course_, Trowa! He was acting all sweet and innocent, pretending last night never happened. I think he was embarrassed. Even though I was, too, at the beginning, I thought it was just funny, now. 

But I thought I'd better apologize anyway, just in case. You never know what those Gundam pilots are thinking... 

"Err... Trowa?" I started, when I had finally cornered him. 

He looked blankly at me, "Yes?" 

"You know I was... kinda drunk yesterday? And I..." at this point I was blushing like mad, "... _kissed_ you?" 

"Yes." 

"Sorry about that." 

"That's ok," he replied, his face still as blank as a wall, "I quite enjoyed it." 

"Oh, really? Thanks," I grinned. "Hey... you know what? Let's have lunch sometime... You know, just to get to know each other. I know all the other pilots, but I never got to know _you_." I know, bad pick up line. But he intrigued me. I wanted to see if behind that mask he wore was a bastard or a loveable bear... Ok, I shouldn't have said that. 

Trowa paused for a moment, then smiled ever so slightly, "Ok." 

"Great!" I said, returning the gesture, and exchanged phone numbers with him. We continued talking after that, until the hotel manager threw us out. I had a great time, though, and I think so did Trowa. I had huge butterflies fluttering in my stomach, and I felt as bouncy as a cloud! I couldn't wait for our little lunch together next week. I only hoped I could get him to open up more... But, I fairly managed to crack open Heero, so Trowa couldn't be any worse... could he?   
---- 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Author's Note**: Ok, this chapter is completely pointless, but I wrote and posted it anyway, since I felt like it. Ending's a bit... abrupt, too. Well, as most of you have noticed, my writing style stinks, but hey. Hope you enjoy, anyways. And please, review. I would love to get feedback from you guys! 

**Disclaimer**: As mentioned before, I don't own Gundam Wing or any related characters. 

----   
**No Title Yet** - Chapter Eight 

That week flew past quite quickly. There wasn't a lot to do concerning my work - the peace was upheld quite well by the preventers, and I hadn't had any more conferences scheduled until the third week of January. I had already done all my paperwork before Quatre's wedding, to get it all out of the way, and now, I was craving for something to do - I was bored out of my mind. The only thing I could really look forward to was my lunch with Trowa. 

With the thought of Trowa in mind, I suddenly remembered that he had told me that his wandering circus was coming to Earth, and staying for quite a while. Bruno would probably be there, too. I hadn't actually seen him since that day... I still hadn't thanked him properly... And I always wanted to see a circus. When I was younger, I only ever went to formal parties with my parents, and didn't really have any real friends. But a circus would be completely different! From what I had already seen and heard, it is supposed to be quite colourful and eventful (Trowa doesn't quite fit into that picture, does he?). 

With nothing really better to do, I decided to just go on, and visit Trowa's circus. 'It might be quite educational,' I thought. 

--- 

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Let me present to you our star knife thrower, Catherine Bloom, and her assistant, Trowa Barton!" the announcer, pointed to both mentioned parties, as the spot lights shone brightly at them. Drum roll. 

Trowa was patiently chained to a wheel, which started rotating once he was secure, while the lady with the knives positioned herself ten or so metres away from him. She threw the first knife. I almost winced when it hit the wheel only a couple of centimetres from Trowa's right leg. Ugh. Another flew out of Catherine's hand, and zipped through the air so fast, I swear I could hear it in this now silent tent. 

I stopped breathing for a second. I don't think _I_ could do that for a living. No wonder they needed a Gundam pilot to be the target. 

Catherine had three knives left. 

The drums in the background seemed to become louder and louder, ringing in my ears, heightening the tension in the room. And then, without warning, she threw all of them, at once, at the rotating Trowa. One hit the board just above his left arm, the second a bit further up, and the last just a few millimetres (or at least, it looked that way from where I was) from his left ear. The drums, stopped abruptly. 

A moment's silence spread throughout the room. Then suddenly, everyone started clapping and cheering. I, for one, was very relieved. I didn't understand how someone could watch something like that for fun. But, hey... 

The show continued on for about another ten minutes, with clowns and magicians taking the spotlight. It was brilliant, even though I didn't see what was so funny about a group of clowns throwing food at each other... O_O At the end of the show, I made my way backstage. 

"Heya, Trowa!" I called out, once I saw him in his normal clothes, once again. "Great show!" 

"Relena?" he replied, surprised. "What are you doing here?" 

"Oh, just thought I'd give you a visit. Don't really need a reason to come and see you now, do I?" I replied, sweetly. 

"Um, no. I suppose not," he smiled. 

"Hey, Trowa," a voice from behind him said, and the knive-throwing lady, Catherine, from before came to stand beside him, "Who're you talking to?" 

"Relena Dorlian," he replied simply. 

"Aww, are ya his new girlfriend? It's about time he got out more," she started babbling. "You know, he never goes out much and stuff, and doesn't talk much either. How did you guys meet, anyway?" 

"War acquaintances," he replied for me. I think he was embarrassed... Hehe. 

"Oh, yeah... Dorlian... do I know you?" 

"I'm the Vice-Foreign Minister," I stated. 

"Oh," she stopped smiling for a moment, but then quickly put it back on and winked at Trowa, "You two have fun, alright?" and left. 

"That was my sister, Catherine," Trowa finally said, as if that was self-explanatory. I just nodded. 

We decided to have our little 'date' a bit earlier on as scheduled, since I was already there and everything. We had lunch in a small, Italian café, and talked a bit. Well, actually, I did the talking, he did the nodding and the 'Hn's. In that way, he was exactly like Heero when I first met him. 

We decided to come back to his place, afterwards. 

He opened the door and let me in. 

"Nice place you got ther--" I started, but got interrupted by these lips crushed against my own. Wow. Never realised Trowa was such a good kisser (since I _was_ kinda drunk the first time). Caught off guard a bit, I started tripping over my own feet, and nearly fell backwards, if it weren't for his arms curled around my waste, holding me safe. I sighed in pleasure, and returned the kiss. This was completely unexpected, but it felt right anyway, and if there was one thing I learned from Heero, it was to follow my emotions. 

Butterflies were flying around in my stomach like there was no tomorrow, and I loved it. I didn't really understand what was going on, and I hardly even knew this silent ex-pilot, but it just felt... _so_ right... y'know? Even more than I felt with Heero... He tasted like cherries... 

Trowa broke the kiss when he realised he was running out of breath. He smiled slightly at me. 

"Sorry, couldn't help myself."   
------- 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Author' Note**: This chapter is so _weird_! Trowa gets to play psychiatrist, while WuFei is the wise man, and Duo is... just Duo. >_ Anyway, I'm nearly done with this story, after an entire year! Only one more chapter, and perhaps an epilogue, and I'm done. Aren't you all glad? ~_^ Anyways, on to the holy and unquestionable **DISCLAIMERS**! 

**Disclaimer**: Gundam Wing and all related characters do not belong to me.   
--- 

**No Title Yet** - Chapter Nine 

I smiled back at him, happy, confused and a bit scared, too. That had been completely unexpected - even a bit too fast. 

Suddenly, a heavy feeling sunk within me which I couldn't quite describe. My happiness slowly melted away, as well as my smile, and my fear just grew deeper. I stepped back away from Trowa's strong hold, and looked away from those unreadable, green eyes. I tried to keep my smile plastered on, but it simply wouldn't hold. 

"What's wrong?" Trowa asked, a pang of hurt in his voice. 

"Nothing, I... I don't know..." my gaze shifted from the wall to the floor, and around the room, avoiding his worried features. 

What was wrong with me? Wasn't this what I had wanted just a minute ago? It had _felt_ like it was what I had wanted when we kissed... But then, a kiss is just a kiss... like a rose is just a rose. Why was I so afraid? What was it that made me want to just run away and disappear? 

"Relena," Trowa spoke very calmly. "I'm sorry if I was moving too fast for you... I don't even know if this is what you want--" 

"But it is!" I cried, then stopped myself. I took a deep breath to sober myself before continuing, "I just feel..." 

"Scared?" he provided. I nodded numbly. Realisation slowly dawned on his features, as his face twisted into a frown, "You're afraid that I'll betray you... like Heero." 

"No, I know you'd never... maybe, yes... I don't know." I looked up at him, slowly, expecting some sort of reaction but found only understanding. 

I smiled sadly, and walked past him into the semi living-room and sat down at the table. He took a seat beside me. 

I laughed bitterly, "It's been 6 months! You'd have thought I had gotten over him... _I_ thought I was over it. But it seems I was in denial... and... you're nothing but a rebound... I'm so sorry! " A few lonely tears managed to escape my eyes at this point, as I started to understand myself better. Everything I had done up to this point was trying to keep my mind off of it. Trying to tell myself that I didn't need him anymore... and for a while I believed it. But I was weak. I had always been weak. 

"I think," Trowa finally spoke, "For you to know what exactly it is that you want, you need to forgive Heero. And Duo. And yourself... " 

"Why myself? It wasn't _my_ fault they... " 

"Just think about it," he smiled. 

And I did. 

-- 

I woke up the next morning in my lonely bed, staring at the ceiling. I hadn't slept well the night before, and all I could think of was how depressing my life was. I thought about my three years with Heero, all the happiness and joy we had shared... but then, it had all been an act, hadn't it? It had all been a big, fat lie... Yet, the only thing I couldn't understand was... why would Heero have hidden his homosexuality from me? Why didn't he just tell me in the first place? At the very least, I'd have thought we were good friends - close enough to tell each other everything. 

"I'll just ask him, then," I stated to myself, and sat up. 

Ask him - it was as simple as that. Why I hadn't thought of it before was quite beyond me. 

At that point, my electronic planner started beeping by my bed. I picked it up and frowned. The meeting! I had almost forgotten the Preventer funds meeting! 

I scrambled out of bed, got ready, and in half an hour's time, I was on my way to the airport. 

Quatre and WuFei were going to be there. It would be good to see them again. 

-- 

I arrived 15 minutes too late, but it seemed that I wasn't needed after all. All I had to do was listen in on the negotiations between Winner Enterprises and Preventers, and give a speech at the end. I found myself wishing I had stayed in bed. 

During a ten minute interval, I managed to slip outside and get myself a cup of coffee. Chang WuFei stood in the hallway, gazing out of the windows, as the rain clouds started to spread themselves across the city. I joined him in his silence, sipping at my drink from time to time, waiting. 

His head slowly turned towards me, "Did you want to ask me something?" 

I considered for a moment how to word this, but decided that a straight-forward question would be the best solution, "Did you know about Heero and Duo before we split up?" 

"I suspected something, but it wasn't really my place to say." 

"I see. Well... why do you think Heero never really said anything? Why didn't he trust me?"  
  
  
WuFei frowned, "I can't answer that for you... you'll have to ask _him_ - but, before you do... I think you and Duo should talk, first." 

"Why?" 

"Because you need to forgive him, too, to forgive yourself." 

Trowa's words... 

I smiled, "Thanks, Wu. You're great." 

"Why did you come to me instead of Quatre, by the way?" he asked after a moment's thought. 

"Quatre's a good friend - the kindest person I know... but you, WuFei, are the _wisest_ person I know," I smiled gently at him 

He didn't reply, but his eyes sparkled in pride and gratitude as his gaze shifted back towards the window.   
----- 

Talk to Duo? Talk to my semi-enemy? Talk to the one who took Heero away from me? Well, ok, he didn't take him away, but... that's what it felt like. What could he and I possibly have in common anymore? How could I possibly look him in the face without saying something horrible and offensive? 

I sighed. All these thoughts raced through my head as I stood in front of the Heero and Duo's apartment door. I had made sure to know that Heero was out, so Duo and I could have some privacy. 

My fist slowly neared the wooden door, hesitated, then knocked twice. No answer. I knocked again, harder this time. 

Behind the walls, I could hear someone making their way towards the front door. I stepped back as the handle started to shift, and the door clicked open to reveal Duo standing in the hall way, purple eyes full of surprise. 

"Relena," he spoke, not believing what was in front of him. 

"Hi, Duo," I smiled. "Can I come in?" 

He stepped back, slightly dazed, "Sure." 

He led me to the living room, where we took a seat each. A minute of tensed silence swept across the room, when I finally decided to break it. 

"How's life treating you? Are you and Heero happy?" I asked genuinely. 

He blinked, "Is this a trick question?" 

"No... I just want an honest answer from you... I need to know... are you two happy?" 

He smiled broadly, "Yeah, we are. He... he makes me want to be a better person, he makes me feel like I'm alive. And Heero... he seems happy, too. He's still a bit troubled about what happened between all of us, but... I love him so much. It's... indescribable... I'm sorry," he added as he saw my sad eyes. 

"No, don't be. I'm glad you're happy," I spoke slightly more relaxed. 

"Although, he _does_ always leave his dirty laundry lying on the floor--" Duo suddenly cut in. 

"And leaves the toilet seat up--" I added. 

"_And_ he snores!" Duo mock-complained. 

We laughed heartily. I guess we _do_ have something in common, if only our love for Heero. 

After our giggles died down, we both sighed comfortably. 

"Duo?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I want you to know... I forgive you." 

He looked at me for a moment, then grinned sincerely, "I'm glad we can still be friends, after all." 

"So am I."   
--- 


	10. Chapter Ten

**Author's Note **- I have _finally_ decided on a Title. It's a very random title, very cliché... but I guess that's ok, since this is _the final chapter_! Yeah, I know. After a year and a half, it's about time ne? ~_^ Not that anyone's reading this anymore... I just felt I needed to end this. I hate leaving things unfinished, even though I like procrastinating a lot, too. I'm strange. Also, I'd like to warn people that, over the course of one and a half years, one's writing style does change, if it's for the better or for the worse... Anyways, on with the fic! ^_^ 

**Disclaimers**: I do not own Gundam Wing or any related characters. I'm repeating myself, just so you know. ^^   
--- 

**Collecting the Pieces** - Chapter Ten 

It wasn't something I usually indulged in, nor usually found the time for, but today had hardly been a normal day. I felt I deserved this one little luxury, after all. 

And yet, as I unravelled myself from my confines of my clothes, and delicately slipped a pale foot into the boiling hot water, testing it, I felt a hint of guilt gnaw at me, if only for a moment. In the back of my mind, that little annoying voice reminded me of my duties and of my work. Did I really deserve this pleasure? 

'Of course I do', I thought to myself stubbornly, pushing that ever-present and sometimes even annoying sense of responsibility away. 

The temperature was perfect, the water calm and soothing. I sank the rest of my body into the steaming liquid, shooting fire up my spine. I sighed softly, smiling to myself, as I rested my head on the edge of the bathtub. 

I loved the water. Its simplicity. Its purity. The calming effect it seemed to have on me as I sank away in it - swallowed and drowned within its depths. In a way it reminded me of Trowa. 

I smiled at that thought. Trowa. Sometimes I could drown in his deep forest green eyes, or bathe in his subtle but loving smiles. 

Cheesy, isn't it? But when you're in love, you're allowed to be cheesy. 

Yes, I'm in love with Trowa Barton. I've finally admitted it to myself. When I think of him, I get that warm fuzzy feeling people always talk about. I get the butterflies and even the giggliness. And all I want... All I _need_ is to hold him and for him to hold me. 

I love him. 

I wish he could be here, now. Now and ever after. And perhaps, I could get my fairy tale after all. Perhaps I have finally found my prince charming... 

But... I also love Heero. Someone once said that, once you love someone, you can never stop loving them. And I suppose it's true. But I'm also over him. I have let go, and I don't need him anymore, as I have needed him before. I am fine with him being with Duo, or anyone else... as long as he is happy. I have finally realised that, as well. 

I realised it when I spoke to him. Today, when I had come to visit. Heero's face was unmasked surprise as he entered their living room, seeing Duo and me having a little heart-to-heart. 

"Relena..." Heero's voice was unsure, as he stood in the doorway. His eyes flickered from me to Duo, as a moment's silence washed across the room. 

Duo cleared his throat, "I was gonna meet Quatre soon, so I'd, uh... better get going." He smiled sheepishly at his bad excuse, and made his way out of the room, gently touching Heero's arm on his way out as his private way of saying 'See you later'. 

Once he had left the apartment, I smiled nervously at my ex-husband. We locked eyes for a moment, an eternity in my mind. All those emotions that hit me every time I looked into them, stung me - yet only faintly. It used to be that it felt as if they could kill me. 

"Relena," he started, breaking the soft wave of tension that had clouded the room. "What is it that you want to say?" 

I sighed, fidgeted, running words through my head. I looked down at my feet, and smiled. 

"I love you. I always will - I hope you know that." 

Pause. 

"And you have hurt me more than anyone ever has in my life." 

I felt his eyes on me, but I was too afraid to look him in the eye. 

"But everything you did... I understand. And I wanted you to know that. I want you to know... I forgive you... and that I hope you can forgive me." 

"Forgive you for what?" he asked quietly. 

I broke my gaze off the blue carpet, and looked up at his face. I paused for only a second, then, "For hating you." 

He shuffled his feet slightly, as if unsure on how to take this. Suddenly, he walked up to me, and simply hugged me. 

After that, we didn't speak of it again. I stayed for coffee and lunch, but we only small talked. Even though I know he refuses to believe there was anything he should forgive me for, I understood it as such. And I must admit, I feel a lot... better about everything, now. I feel more at peace. 

"Relena?" Trowa's voice jogged me out of my musings, as I sat upright in the bath. His voice was coming from behind the door. "Are you in there?" 

"Yes, the door's open. Come in." I grinned to myself. 

He entered, holding a brown paper bag in his arms, seemingly unfazed by my... uh, nakedness. He set the bag down next to the bathtub, and knelt down beside it to be at eye level with me. 

"Want to join me?" I asked sweetly. 

"I'd love to," a small small tinted his lips, "but I just wanted to give this to you first." 

His hand rummaged around in the bag for a while, as he said, "I saw this, and thought of you." 

Once his hand reappeared, it was holding a small, black jewellery box. 

"Oh, Trowa... You really shouldn't have gone through all this trouble..." 

"If you don't like it, I'll return it." 

He opened the case, and inside was a small broach. It was a golden broach in the form of a twig with cherries and cherry blossoms attached to it. It was light and simple. Beautiful. 

"Thank you so much, Trowa..." I whispered, and looked up at him. "I feel a bit guilty now, though. I want to give you something, too... " 

His smile broadened slightly, "I'm sure that can be arranged. D'you think the bath's big enough for two?" 

I grinned at him, and took his hand. "I'm sure we'll manage." 

End. 

--- 

Author's Note: Yeah! It's done. Over and done with forever! Yayayayayay! XD Anyways, sappy ending I know. Very cliché, too. I know. I know I know I know. Well, what do you expect in a story that's a romance with Relena in it? ~_^ 

Anyway, I'd like to thank all those people who reviewed, even though you probably aren't even reading this anymore (don't blame you really), but you encouraged me anyway. A special thanks to my friend Rachel, who kept bugging me to finish this. I dedicate this fic to her, as well as Cherry Blossom purely because both Rachel and Cherry rule. ^_^ 


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